There I was, lying on my bed in the middle of the day, a Saturday for that matter. I could feel it creeping in, slowly but very tactically and meticulously. Like a thief, trying to rob a house at night, I felt like I was about to get robbed. Yes my mind was troubled. It all seemed like the world was moving and sadly, I wasn’t. You know that feeling of being left behind right?
All of a sudden, everything about my life seemed wrong. I no longer felt comfortable with what I studied in school, I wondered if I had the right friends and chased the right dreams. My challenges all came like a rush through my veins. No matter how hard I tried, it kept on coming. I wished someone could hear me or feel me. How come they can’t see me struggling?
It’s then that I understood that you can be in a crowd yet feel lonely. But why? Why now! Could it have been something I saw? How did I get to think so lowly of my self in such a short interval. I remember going through a couple of friends WhatsApp status earlier that day. So many wedding announcements, engagements, promotions goals crushed and lots and lots of smiles.
Wait a minute, I’m I being jealous now. I should be happy for them. On second thoughts, I’m truly happy for them and wish for more of such happy moments but I just wished I was a part of it.
Some of the signs you may be feeling depressed are thoughts or feelings of
Not being loved
shame or digrace
being left out
not achieving one’s goals or failure
Some of the things you have to remember if you feel that way are
You are loved
so long as there’s life, there’s hope
You are not alone. You may not feel like it but God is with you, has always been and always will be.
It’s an attack from the devil, refuse to succumb
Your future is bright. Your circumstances may just be obscuring you from that reality. Choose to look beyond the unseen.
It’s not the end of you. If it was, you wouldn’t have been reading this now.
What to do
Smile: watch a movie, listen to music, etc just do anything you know will make you smile.
Acts of love: there’s a feeling you get when you give out love. It’s so fulfilling. If you can make someone smile, I mean, you definitely have a reason to live. When was the last time you made someone smile?
Go through your dreams and plans over again, do you really want to throw it away?
Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and loss of interest. ( Definition by Mayo Clinic)
Depression is a thief, don’t let it rob you of your joy, happiness, future, loved ones.
What is SELF LOVE? Alright! I know you’re very eager to know what self love is that’s why you are here. Self-love, defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage”, has been conceptualized both as a basic human necessity and as a moral flaw, akin to vanity and selfishness.
According to the Brain and Behavior research foundation, self love is the state of appreciation that grows from actions that support our physical, physchological and spiritual growth. Its means taking care of one’s own need and not sacrificing one’s well being to please others
Ways to develop/practice self love
1) Practice good self care
Take care of your body, emotions , spiritual and mental health.
Don’t neglect yourself. Treat your self out , pamper yourself, create time for your self care routine.
Stop comparing yourself to others!*
Know that you are who you are. You are just fine the way you are and you are God’s own master piece formed in his image and likeness.
2) Be kind, patient, gentle and compassionate with yourself
Yes, you may have done some very awful things and made some terrible mistakes that may still be hunting you till today but be kind and compassionate enough to forgive yourself. Embrace the freedom that comes with forgiving yourself and move on. Stop beating yourself over failures and mistakes. Forgive yourself and find a way to move on or correct them. Be kind to yourself. Appreciate yourself and be happy when you do something good or successful. Even if no one notices your effort or work, appreciate yourself. Also, learn to be patient with yourself. You may not have everything figured out now, just be patient with yourself and its going to work out with time.
3) Make room for healthy habits
Take actions based on needs and not wants. Take out time for meditation, sports and affirmation. Read books, study something even just on the Internet. I also like to state that, You must learn not to worry about other people’s opinion. Allow yourself to make mistakes and be brave enough to learn from them. Exercise boldness in public and interact with others.
4) Have intimacy with God
God is the ultimate. Sometimes all we just really need to feel loved again, is to open our heart and receive the love that comes from the warm embrace of God our father. Remember, your value doesn’t lie in how your body looks or who people think you are. The truth is that their opinions don’t actually define you. Most times, other people’s opinion of you is just a reflection of who they are and you can’t be responsible for that.
5) Allow your self to feel both pain and joy ,love as fully as you can.
See beauty in life, take the opportunities life presents to you and create your own.
Remember, self love is putting your mental, emotional ,spiritual and physical well being first😊.
The bible clearly says;
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF
It is so clear and needs no further explanations. In my opinion, the criteria for loving others genuinely is loving your own self genuinely.
Why is it important to love yourself?
The key to a greater life satisfaction is self love.
Self love gives you a positive attitude towards life.
Self confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. it means you accept and trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life. You know your strengths and weaknesses well and have a positive view of yourself. You set realistic expectations and goals, communicate assertively and can handle criticism. In this post on building self confidence, we will dive into the importance, types and causes of self confidence. Then, we will also talk about the ways on how to have a healthy self confidence.
Different factors contribute to influence our self confidence such as: genetics, personalities, life experiences, thoughts, age, health, comparison etc.
Why is self confidence important?
Self confidence or self esteem is very important in life as it is one of the determinants of success or failure. it is very important because it influences a person’s life choices. it plays a significant role in one’s motivation in life. Having a high self esteem can help you navigate through life with a positive attitude and outlook. On the other hand, having low self esteem might hold you back from achieving your goals and hinder you from maximizing your potential as you would navigate through life always having the perception that you are not good enough or you don’t have what it takes to succeed both at school or work.
Types of Self esteem
Low self esteem: people who have low self esteem, think of themselves as below average. They do not believe in themselves nor trust in their abilities neither do they place value on themselves. Low self esteem can affect a lot of things in one’s life. Some of the effects of low self esteem are poor relationships, addiction, depression and anxiety.
High self esteem: people who have high self esteem tend to love and accept themselves. They believe in themselves and their abilities. They have the confidence that whatever challenges might come, they will be able to surpass it
Inflated self esteem: people who have high self esteem tend to think of themselves as better than other people and are always ready to underestimate others. This is actually a very negative type of self esteem because it prevents people who have it from forming meaningful and healthy relationships. They always want to be ahead and most times do not mind hurting people to achieve the success they desire, thinking that will bring them happiness.
What Causes Low Self confidence
Low self confidence often begins in childhood. Our teachers, friends, siblings, parents and even media send us positive and negative messages about ourselves. For some reason, the message that you are not good enough is the one that stays with you.
To boost your self confidence, you need to identify the negative beliefs you have about yourself then challenge them. You may tell yourself, “you’re too stupid to apply for a new job” for example or that “nobody cares about your.” Start to note this negative thoughts and write them on an piece of paper or in a diary. Ask yourself when you first started to think these thoughts.
Next, start to write some evidence that challenges these negative beliefs such as “I’m really good at cryptic crosswords” or “my sister calls for a chat every week”