Each an everyone of us, at some point in our lives have either had a broken heart or know someone who has. We’ve even heard many heartbreak stories like broken engagements, broken marriages, many left on the alter and so on and so forth. Truth be told, unless you experience it, the pain cannot be explained. Anyways, in this post, we won’t be focusing on the negative aspect of heart break. In as much as it sometimes feels impossible to heal from a heart break, let’s look at some 5 steps to healing a broken heart.
1) surrender your heart to Jesus.
The first step is to surrender your heart to Jesus. No matter how it is ( ugly, bitter, broken, wounded etc), surrender to Jesus because he alone can heal a broken heart.
The tendency is to try to hide our brokenness from him because we feel unworthy.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
2) Believe that Jesus still loves you
Second step is to believe that Jesus sees your heart just the way it is, he knows all what you are going through and he still loves you.
Bible says God is closer to the broken hearted. He loves you just the way you are. No matter how far away, no matter how broken, or how wounded and bitter you are, Jesus loves you.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
3)Ask Jesus to heal your heart.
Unlike other diseases that Jesus healed, this is one aspect of healing that only Jesus can do. I’m not sure there’s any doctor that can heal or mend a broken heart. Jesus is the only one that can see your heart the way it is. He is the only one that understands you.
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
4) spend more time with God.
Spend more time studying the Word, worshipping, praying and fellowship with other brethren. When ever I meditate on God’s Word, I literally feel His light illluminate my heart. And the more I focus on him the more I forgot about my pain and worries. But this is a continuous process, once I stopped spending time and focusing on Him , the more I focused on the problem
5) Get busy with God’s work.
Get busy with your purpose, passion. You were created by God, for his good works. Start doing them. Start impacting the life’s of those around you. Whatever dreams you have in your heart, work on them so as to bring them to realisation. And in whatever you do, do it as serving the Lord and not man. An idle man is a devils workshop so GET BUSY.
All this will take time, some people heal faster, others heal slower. Understand and accept your own healing process. I pray that what ever stage you are in your healing journey, you’ll accept and embrace it while learning the most from it. May God give you the strength you need and I’m due time May he heal your heart. AMEN
December is here, the last month of the year! Wow, how time flies. Seriously, new year feels just like yesterday but here we are at the end of the year already. So to finish the year strong, I came up with this 30 Days Self-confidence challenge while setting the pace for 2022.
1) Smile at a stranger
I pray you smile from a place of understanding knowing fully well that smiling is powerful especially when the smiles are really genuine
2) List 5 things you love about yourself
No human being can love you better than you love yourself. Find out those things you love about yourself and build on them. This will boost your self confidence tremendously
3) Dance to your favorite song
If like me, you find it hard having favorites, pick any song you really like and just dance. Also, you don’t need to be a pro dancer. Recording yourself is a plus, so you can always rewatch and relive the moment.
4) Give someone a compliment
That feeling of making someone else smile, simply priceless. A random text or call from you just complimenting a friend, colleague or neighbor about how good they are will be amazing. You can boost your self confidence by boosting that of someone else.
5) Prepare your favorite meal
Be it a salad, cocktail, fries, etc it doesn’t have to be complicated. However if you have enough time and resources whatever your favorite meal is, go for it. You might also want to try a new recipe.
6) Don’t talk negatively aboutotherpeoplefor the whole day
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
You only speak what your heart and mind have harbored for a while. When next a negative thought about someone comes to your mind, replace it immediately with a positive one.
7) Get at least 8 hours of sleep
8) Do something you loved doing as a child
Think about that game you loved so much during childhood…
9) Do a little self care
Try having some ‘you time’ just taking care of yourself. You could do an exercise, get a massage, journal, meditate or just spend time alone with God.
10) Do a social media detox
Taking some time off social media will help you focus on yourself and reconnect with the things that really make you happy.
11) list 3 things you have accomplished
As the year draws to an end, it’s very easy to think about the things you failed to do, but how about you take out time to list the things you’ve accomplished so far? This will definitely boost your self confidence and encourage you not to give up.
12) Say No to something
The strength of your will power is determined by your ability to say NO. You don’t always have to say yes to everything especially if it doesn’t allign with your values, goals and beliefs.
13) Implement a new healthy habit
It has been proven that to develop a new habit, the same thing has to be done consistently for 21 days. So if you start today, by the time the new year begins, it will be part of your lifestyle.
14) Treat yourself out
You don’t always have to wait for someone else to do it and it doesn’t have to be too expensive or extravagant. You could visit a nice garden or your favorite restaurant
15) Practice a power pose
In order to boost and maintain self confidence, you need to have the right posture. There are many power poses, salutation pose, Victory pose and just recently I found out smiling is among too.
16) Do something you’ve never done before
Try a new dish, visit a new place, try a new activity or sport. To begin, start by trying to name one thing you’ve never done then work from there. PS: it should be something good and positive that will make you see life from a new perspective.
17) Put on your favoriteoutfit
There’s always that one dress that once you put on, you feel different and your self confidence is just on another level. How about you wear it today, and of course take a good picture while at it.
18) Say this affirmation 3 times
« I am beautiful, confident and deserving of the best »
Say it first thing in morning before stepping out, say it at random periods of your day, declare it boldly before going to bed.
19) Try something new with your hair
It doesn’t matter if you already have a particular hairstyle right now. Just try to style it in a new way.
20) Describe somethingrandomor weird that brings you joy.
Most at times we have a memory that when we think about, we burst out in laugh. Today, don’t wait for anyone to make you laugh, think about anything weird or random that brings you joy.
21) Buy yourself a gift.
When was the last time you got yourself a gift? Some people will put in so much thought and resources when gifting others but when it comes to themselves, anything goes! It’s December, the last month of the year, try rewarding yourself for the years effort and achievements. It could be anything small but should be meaningful.
23) Talk to a stranger
I know you probably meet and talk with strangers every day, but today be really intentional about it.
24) Write down 5 things you are gratefulfor
It doesn’t matter how many times things went wrong throughout the year, there are still many things to be grateful for. Think deeply about the things you are grateful for and write them down. An attitude of gratitude is a great recipe for self confidence.
25) Reach out to an old friend
It’s Christmas Day and many people will be expecting wishes and gifts from family and loved ones. How about you surprise an old friend or someone you haven’t talked to in a long while ?
26) List 3 of your strengths
Maximise your strengths…
27) List 3 weaknesses you will work on next year
Minimise your weaknesses! Don’t be that person who always say ‘ that’s just the way I am’ If you can work on it, please do. In order for you to become the best version of yourself, you need to minimise your weaknesses.
28) Do a complete skin care routine and record.
Do you have a skin care routine? What are the components of your skin care routine?
29) List 3 people in your life you are gratefulfor
Earlier on, you listed the things you were grateful for but now, list the 3 people in your life right now that you are grateful for. Once you identify them, why not let them know how much you are grateful for them. Remember, your network is your net worth.
30) Name one thing you like about your body or appearance
Here at Beiblackbeauty our vision is that you be comfortable and confident in your own skin. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Congratulations, if you made it to the end of the challenge. I hope you feel good about yourself and your self confidence has increased.
Few days ago, while chatting with my elder brother, he brought up this story. Even though, the Chinese bamboo tree story was to encourage someone else but since then I’ve not stopped thinking about it. There are just so many powerful lessons from the Chinese bamboo tree story that I think everyone should know about it. It cuts across every area of life! Be it education, relationships, business, if you meditate on it and apply to every area of your life, growth will be inevitable.
What’s special about the Chinese bamboo?
This plant takes 5 years to start growing!
The Chinese bamboo tree doesn’t break through the ground for the first four years. See, like other plants once you plant it, you need to water it, nurture it, and fertilize it every day. But unlike other plants nothing happens the first year. You do the same thing the next year, and still nothing happens. That’s right, for 4 good long years, you see no results! Can you try to picture that right now? There’s no proof of progress. If I’m the farmer, I may start to doubt that I actually planted something.
But there’s good news, because in the 5th year things begin to happen. They don’t just happen, they happen real fast. In just 5 weeks, the Chinese bamboo tree can grow till about 27 meters! It’s almost as if you can actually see the tree growing before your very eyes.
To succeed, you need a lot of faith, believe and patience. Faith in yourself and your abilities. All bamboo tree planters know and believe that the tree will grow in 5 years. They just do what they have to do while waiting for the right time for the tree to grow. Do not allow your mood or circumstances around you derail you from your goal. People will criticize and doubt you. To be honest, you can’t blame them (obviously they haven’t heard the Chinese bamboo story yet). Don’t give in to the nay saying.
Keep watering and nurturing the seed. For the Chinese bamboo tree to grow in 5 years, it needs to be watered and nurtured. For 4 years there’s no sign of growth but however, the planter keeps watering and nurturing. Don’t stop working on yourself even though it feels like it’s not working. Learn a skill, improve your character, work on that project etc just do what you have to do. In due time, you will be rewarded. It takes small actions everyday to get a major goal.
Build a solid foundation in order to survive in the harshest conditions for many, many years. Truth is, like other trees without the solid foundation, it might grow in the beginning. However, in the long run, it might not be able to support the size and long life.
As a child he didn’t start speaking until he was four, reading until he was seven, and was thought to be mentally handicapped. Yet, he grew up to be one of the first people whose name pops up when you think of physics
2. Vincent Van Gogh
An artist whom throughout his lifetime, sold just one painting, ‘The Red Vineyard’. But nowadays one of his paintings can cause $100 million. Literally, his work finally paid off, it’s rather unfortunate he didn’t enjoy it himself.
3. Richard Hooker
Richard Hooker had to water his bamboo tree for seven years and through 21 rejections by publishers until his humorous war novel, M*A*S*H became a runaway bestseller, spawning a movie and one of the longest-running television series of all-time. ( source: JD mind coach)
If you’ve been following this blog, you’ll know that we are about celebrating black women of every shade. Be it dark, brown or fair, there’s beauty in every shade. In honor of black history month which was in February and women’s month in March, we decided to treat a few black women to a photoshoot session. In return, these black women shared their stories with us.
Blacky… Black……Girl go black sooooo…..Just a few of the names that people added to my birth certificate when we crossed paths. According to them my skin color was so dark that’s why they gave me such nicknames. In the early years of my growth, it made me feel so bad. I felt sometimes as if I was ugly because I had such a skin tone. It made me think a few times of remedies to reduce the dark color…lol.But growing up, I have learnt to appreciate this melanin popping skin of mine. I will definitely choose this skin color over and over again. Funny thing is even people who were actually a lot darker will bleach their skin and then be the first to talk to you of how dark you are. African woman, wear your skin with pride and confidence, there is no better color than what you have. It’s your uniqueness, it’s your originality. It makes you phenomenal.
My name is Elvuchio Ankinimbom and I am proudly the darkest in my family. Growing up black was never an easy thing for me because everyone will bee like “the dark girl” even family used to say that. I am not a fan of black dresses because I was always hear statements like you are dark and wear black dresses?? As if it was a taboo. I’m thankful to the few people who always said don’t you ever change your colour. It’s the best and money can’t buy. With these I grew to be proud of my colour and even now it’s my identity
I have always grown with the mindset that, being right is about how much walls we can put up and how much our strength can carry us. As I journeyed, life has become a whole lesson on its own. My walls have been broken, I’ve fallen and failed only to realize that, it was never and will never really be about how much of my ability to fight. The grace and mercy of God is what keeps us and can keep us on every step of the way. Same goes for our skin, it’s in us, that we are black is a special gift. No matter how much we might ever want to change to be who we are not, we just can’t. First cuz we don’t have what it takes to change it and second because even we succeed it’s only a physical change, we can’t change it from inside. You can’t turn off the light that shines from the inside. So why not just shine on in the true beautiful black that you are and was made to be. See eh, the joy of your person, doesn’t come from anything else but from the Lord and the inside of you.
Black/Dark -skinned in a nutshell means having skin rich in melanin.But hey!? It goes beyond that.Black in itself is a color associated with power??, authority??, strength ??♀️ and elegance???.All these qualities and many more is encoded in this beautiful ?? skin of ours. Yes, it is true and perhaps understandable how the society can influence our mindset on black – skinned. That is why the value of this color needs to be understood ? from within?♀️, so that no external force will mislead us.So I dare? you to drop the zero (shame) and pick up the hero (boldness). Stand for who you are????????.OH! My beautiful ? melanin skin that sparkles ✨✨ when the sunlight shines on it .I bet u…it is beautiful to have ?.
Yes am black?. I remember when I was growing up anywhere I went to there was someone to complement my color. But the truth is, deep within I was not okay with me. I admired my mates who were fair. I used to apply lotions such like rapid Clair, carro light to reduce the darkness. But nothing was changing. Then I realized am me. That’s my beauty and uniqueness. Even if I change the color the Melanie will still be inside. I Came to accept the ME and loved the ME. At times people’s comments are not really enough, you will need to discover the YOU and learn to appreciate what you are. You don’t need to bleach to look beautiful. Look at me, this is beauty. Black is the mother of all colors. You can count on us anytime we will be there to assist. This is me Kelly Divine. What is your own story? God bless miss mokom Sandra for this platform to help the black women out there to be confidential of who they are.
As a kid, I grew up in a community where all those around me were of dark skin.So I used to feel I am abnormal just because I have a light skin.For this reason, I was called names like Yellow sisi, albino, European and the list goes onn.At one point as a teenager, I used to think of things like if only I can get a body lotion that will darken my skin then I will be free from all these names but as time went onn, I rather noticed some dark skin people instead wanted to be of light skin so they go about creaming their bodies just because they think they will be more beautiful and attractive in the fair complexion.Then I began loving and cherishing my skin color.The lesson I learnt from this was that we are all Africans, we are all blacks and beautiful in our different shades.I must confess this platform Beiblackbeauty has thought me how to appreciate beauty in every shade the more.
Thanks for reading through. Do feel free to share your own story with us in the comment section below.
Emojis are small pictures used on smart phones, tablets and other electronic devices to convey emotion or represent an object or symbol more succinctly than a text statement. Personally, I use emojis to add emotions into my text messages. Generally, unless I am very close to someone to get the tone in his/her message, I find it hard to guess the emotions in the message based on just mere words and without emojis. However, sometimes it’s just so hard to find the words to express how I really feel. So emojis always come true for me. In as much as we have emojis to help express how we feel, most at times we abuse them a lot. In this post I’ll be talking about my favorite emojis and their meanings. I was so amazed by how wrongly I used some of them.
Face with tears of joy
” I am laughing so hard that I can hardly keep myself on my chair! something is so incredibly funny that you cry laughing. Not to be confused with Rolling on the floor, laughing. I actually use them interchangeably depending on the intensity of the fun.
Smiley face with an open mouth and cold sweat
Speaking of wrongly used emojis! This emoji should be used to show relief that a tight situation went well or was coped with positively. However, I use it when I don’t want to sound too serious and to ease the tension. For example, I might have typed something funny and a little bit annoying ( in a joking way of course) but I don’t actually want you to get annoyed so I use this emoji. Works magic for me.
Smiley face with an open mouth
” Is in a positive mood, shows its teeth and laughs cheerfully. Expresses enthusiasm: from a cheerful greeting to boundless joy.” I think I get this right all the time. I often use at the end of a greeting. A simple good morning won’t feel so good unless it’s accompanied by this cute emoji. Without it, to me the greeting just feels so… ‘dry!’
Smiley face with smiling eyes
” Is grinning shyly and embarrassed. The red cheeks are an expression of joy. Represents happiness, contentment, peace of mind and gratitude.” This is so accurate! I use it mostly when I’m blushing . I use it interchangeably with the Smiling face emoji. Can’t really make out the difference between both.
Smiling face with heart eyes
” Happily beaming face with heart-shaped eyes. Insanely in love with a person, place or an object.” So, in one word, it expresses… LOVE! If you are someone who loves love like me, tell me how can you resist this emoji? I use it most at times to comment on a lovely picture or to reply to a lovely message. Now this is easily confused with Smiling face with smiling eyes and three hearts. This means you are in love, sitting on cloud number nine ( if you know what I mean)
Face throwing a kiss
Ok, now here’s one emoji I’ve used so wrongly. This emoji should be used to express affection or a romantic intent, as an expression of love. It is also a symbol of flirting and showing gratitude. I often misuse it for Kissing face, which is not so much a sign of an intimate kiss but rather a kiss to a friend or relative. ( So next time, before you throw kisses up and down, left and right, be sure that you are kissing the right person oh!)
” Expression of humor, has been pulling a practical joke, is flirting or has an ulterior motive. The wink weakens the message: do not take it seriously, regard it as humorous.” If I were to translate it in lay man’s language, I’ll say it means something like “you’re my man/ personal person, don’t take it serious”
Means, ” Everything went well! is happy that something unpleasant is over without having caused any harm. Relaxed, thankful and free of worries.” However, to me this emoji also gives a confident, self satisfying look but in a humble way. That kind of “yes I did it’, ‘I’m proud of myself’ look.
Face with hand over the mouth
“Expresses shock, surprise, or a sudden perception.” It doesn’t end there, “it is also a typical gesture which shows that the other person is not telling the truth. Thinks he’s been lied to.” Wow, It’s true I use it to express shock and surprise but that second part though???
Person with folded arms
” Two hands pressed together. Is currently introverted, saying a prayer or hoping for enlightenment. Is also used as a “high five” or to say thank you.” At least, I get this right almost all the time.
In total, there are 3304 emojis in the Unicode Standard as of March 2020. Obviously, they are so many and I can’t begin to list them here in as much as I want to. But I hope that reading this article will stimulate you to find out the meaning of an emoji before using it. Be careful that you aren’t sending the wrong message to the right person or the right message to the wrong person. Hope you enjoyed my favorite emojis and their meanings. You can share with me in the comments section what these emojis mean to you.