It’s often said, “beauty attracts and personality keeps” but in my case, I feel like it’s the other way round. I feel like people are drawn to me because of my personality not my looks, which is a good thing right. Yeah I know it’s a good thing. I can tell because most of the long lasting relationships I have is with people who love my personality. So don’t get me wrong. I don’t doubt for a second that relationships built on personality are best. But I don’t just want to be loved only because of my personality. I also want to be loved because of my looks.
Do you really blame me for thinking this way? Put a dark skin girl in the midst of light skin girls and she’ll definitely be unnoticed. All my life, my closest friends have always been wayyy lighter in complexion than me, so I know what it means to be unnoticed. If we went out or maybe just walked on the road, they’ll always get the attention and I’ll just be standing there watching.
Growing up, I’ve seen how much people glorify light skin girls. I’m not just talking about tv, or social media, I’m talking about real life. As in just being light skin makes you already beautiful before your other features can be checked. whereas, if you’re dark, then you’re less likely beautiful. If you are dark and beautiful, you’ll hear of sub categories such as ‘nice black’, ‘clean black’ or ‘beautiful black’. Of course, at the other end of the rope, you’ll hear of ‘dirty black’.
Majority of the times I was told that I was beautiful, I thought they were lying. If someone complemented me, it was so hard to appreciate. I thought that they were just trying to make me feel better. Not saying all complements were true but I was blinded from seeing the ones that were.
As a dark skin girl, it feels like we need to do more to feel and look beautiful. No wonder, many people tend to bleach their skin. In as much as I am so much against it, sometimes I understand them because I know the pressure. The main problem with bleaching is not about what is been done externally but rather what is going on internally in your mind. Your color may change but your mind won’t.(follow this link to find out more about skin bleaching). With the melanin popping social media trend, it’s almost like if you don’t have big hips, butts or boobs then your melanin isn’t really popping. In reality, if you don’t wear good dark skin makeup or dress up sexy, your black beauty will rarely get noticed.
I used to think that issues about colorism are faced by blacks in white countries. What I don’t understand is why a black will maltreat another just because of a slight difference in shades. Hhmm, the way some people behave errr, it’s like they are whites and we’re blacks. Thanks to social media, a lot of dark skin appreciation is going on. Looking at it keenly, you’d notice that dark skin women are put on a lower bar but a higher pedestal. All the hyping and praising always ends on social media but in real life we get to face reality which is
- we are labeled ugly, because we are dark skin
- don’t get attention or get noticed because we are dark skin
- we are often the second choice because we are dark skin
- we are always called all sorts of awful names publicly or not, by strangers or not, because we are black
- Being dark skin feels like being less privileged
- you probably don’t understand 80% of what we go through because you’re not black.
Some people think the aforementioned concerns mostly the ‘ugly black ones’ but this video will shock you.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmIgFs5_2D0&t=2s
Hey guys, this isn’t meant to be a pitiful post. I just thought I should share with you some of the things we go through as dark skin ladies. If you need clarification please leave a comment below.
Fellow dark skin girl, which of these could you relate with?