When your best friend is your greatest admirer, she makes you feel more confident in yourself. She compliments you when others insult you and makes you feel better about yourself when others look down on you. And when she makes you up, you feel like a delicate piece of fine art in the arms of its beholder. She cherishes your beauty and reminds you constantly of just how beautiful your dark skin is and so you can never feel pressured to be anything else other than you.
I received this poem from my best friend and it melted my heart. It got me thinking, how often do we appreciate our loved ones? Do you compliment them often or are you the kind who ‘jokingly’ insults them? You may laugh about it but what is said has been said and can never be taken back for words are spirit and life (John 6:63). The words you speak or write to someone can leave a huge impact and create a lasting memory- either good or bad, so it’s important to choose them wisely. Someone said, ‘be careful with your words, once they’re said, they can only be forgiven not forgotten.’ One kind word can change someone’s entire life and I can testify to that. There are many times I’ve been stopped by strangers on the road with this same words, “you are beautiful, don’t change your color.” some of them came as threats and warnings though (laughs) with good intentions, of course. Those days always ended up being the most beautiful of all days. This doesn’t cancel the fact that I was still mocked by other strangers and friends too. They were probably just joking (that kind of slang that comes out like venom). This kind of word kills the spirit. You have a say in the future of your loved ones. Through your words and conversations, you can either encourage them or discourage them. Help them feel and become better by speaking words of life and removing any unnecessary words that you’ll end up regretting in a long run. Be their prophet and prophesy the good you see in them not the bad. Let your words be like seeds, good seeds that bear good fruits. This is a lifestyle- an opportunity to create impact in someone’s life, don’t misuse it just because you want to be funny!
THIS BLACK WOMAN
What do you see when you look into the dark?
What comes to mind when you think about “black”?
It may present itself as a world of darkness,
But looking deep, you’ll see it’s a whole world of light.
What do you see when you look at “black”
I see a woman, a black woman.
Her immaculate white teeth lying confidently on her artistic, well-proportioned face.
A smile so deep, with uncontrollable power piercing through her onyx-healing grace, with the capability of melting a frozen heart.
Oh this woman!
Look at her cocoa-savored skin, glowing like a mélange of pure honey and filings of rubies.
This is a symbol of her fertility, the evidence of her origin, the black lava soil from which she was formed.
She absorbs the vibes of negative energy in the surrounding, leaving the way clear for improvement.
Like all black gems, the uniqueness in her personality banishes negativity.
Neither hematite nor pearls;
Antique green or red beryl;
Not even diamonds can compare to the sparkle of her brown sugar-coated heart.
This woman, she’s beauty unrefined.
All we see is the black, but there’s so much more within.
This black woman is a constant reminder of all that lies beyond the stars;
Heaven’s full package in a wrap of dark chocolate.
Her strength, capabilities and worth are never to be underestimated.
This black woman, she’s a priceless jewel.
This black woman, she’s the most precious of all gems.
Yea I know, I’m just a student and unmarried. What do I know about being a wife? but if I’m going to be married someday then I better start getting ready now. I know for most of us ladies, just the thought of marriage or even the sight of a wedding dress excites us. Most of us already know the exact shoe and dress we’ll wear, the sad thing is we plan for the big day yet have little or no idea of what comes after that.
Proverbs 18:22 says ‘he that finds a wife has found a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord, ‘it says a wife! (not a woman talk less a girl). When my future husband starts searching, I want to be a wife when he finds me.
so, here’s the kind of wife I want to be
1) One whom is praised by her husband, who finds her non comparable to other noble women
proverbs 31:28-29 … her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”
I believe that every woman is very unique in her own way and so shouldn’t let envy, insecurities and doubt override and distort their relationships with other fellow women but instead they should support each other.
“girls compete with each other while women empower each other.”
2) As hardworking as my mum: I’m sure there must be a kind of energy that comes with age because my mum is the bomb, sometimes I look at her and get tired for her. From cleaning the house to cooking to farm work most Saturdays, mama will work diligently and happily without complaining and she still has a job and a boss to report to.
In the future when I become a doctor one of my biggest fears is that I might get too busy to take care of my home. Already as a medical student living alone, sometimes I barely have time to cook for myself and it’s in those times that I remember that if I can’t take care of myself now as a student, I won’t be able to do so as a doctor talk less of when I get married and have children. Sometimes I get realistic with myself for example if I can’t make myself breakfast before school, will I be able to make breakfast for my family before work?
proverbs 31:15 “she gets up while its night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants”
3) Financially independent: Yes I said it, but before you are quick to judge and call me names such as Miss independent or feminist let me explain. In my country, we have so many funny cultures and in as much as I pray not to marry from any of such, sometimes life happens and I want to be ready for the worst. One thing that pains me is seeing a family broke because the husband lost his job or is financially challenged. I want to be able to take care of my family even when my husband fails to do so. I want to support him and make him know that he can count on me to take care of our children when he’s not around. So I ask myself questions like if my husband is no more, will I be able to afford the same life he gave my children and I? I want to be an asset and not a liability, to not be only at the receiving end but to give and add profits to the family account. So as early as now, I save and invest for my future.
proverbs 31:18 “she sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp doesn’t go out by night”
4) Submissive: Did I say I admire my mum? I praise God for my mum because she has been the perfect example. Right from childhood I’ve watched my mum set the table for my dad in the morning before work and in the evening when he comes back. Never have I seen my dad serve himself directly from the pot. Even when she’s not around she’ll make sure she assigns someone to do so. Sometimes it shocks me when I visit a friend and I see her dad dish himself. Well some will say it’s too much protocol and others will say its archaic but I’ll love to treat my husband like the king he is.
5) Prayerful: Last but not the least I’ll love to be a prayerful wife. One who falls on her knees daily to intercede for her husband and children. I’ll treasure my relationship with God first before anyone else. To be the watchman who stands at the gate and prevents any evil from entering our home. To intercede for my husband, committing all his affairs into God’s hand. Such that when troubles/challenges come I’ll run to nobody else but Jesus. So before I ever marry, my relationship with God must be very strong so I can keep that up in my matrimonial home. Some of the ways I grow my relationship with Him is seeking Him through His Word and in the place of prayer
proverbs 31:30 “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised”
Well let me end here for now, this is just a tip of the iceberg because trust me I want to be so much more. But I do understand it’s not just about wanting but doing and it’s not a one-time thing but a process. What kind of wife do you want to be and what are you doing about it?